In
Chapter 1 of The Bell Jar, the narrator, Esther, describes the Amazon as “[a
hotel] for women only, and they were mostly girls [her] age with wealthy
parents who wanted to be sure their daughters would be living where men couldn’t
get at them and deceive them; and they were all going to posh secretarial
schools like Katy Gibbs, where they had to wear hats and stockings and gloves
to class, or they had just graduated from places like Katy Gibbs and were
secretaries to executives and junior executives and simply hanging around in new
York waiting to get married to some career man or other. (1. 4.)” Esther describes
the Amazon and its residents in this manner to mock how alike and superficial
they are and put emphasis on why she feels alone in this particular group of
girls. The way Esther judges their aristocratic lifestyle, it is easy to tell
that she has a much different background and different goals for her life.
On
page 5 and 6, Jay Cee is described as old and ugly by both Esther and Doreen,
but despite her appearance, Esther still admires Jay Cee for her intelligence
and talent as a head magazine editor. Esther tends to judge others based off of
very superficial criteria—height, clothes, attractiveness, etc.—but Jay Cee is
one of the few people Esther appreciates for who they are on the inside. Esther
does not care that Jay Cee is old and ugly because she looks up to her as a mentor
and as a woman who has accomplished a great deal in her career. Esther also
mentions on page 6 that she cannot picture Jay Cee having sex. This odd view
into Esther’s thoughts characterizes Esther as very innocent and narrow minded.
She struggles to picture people such as Jay Cee in bed because she sees sex as
taboo and only for more promiscuous women.
In
Chapter 2, on pages 19 and 20, Esther decided to take a hot bath because it
helps her feel more pure. In this way, Esther’s character is very similar to
Blanche in a Streetcar Named Desire. Both women feel the need to take hot baths
whenever they feel guilty or morally dirty. As Esther sits in the water she
says to herself that all the people in her life and the city are dissolving and
she does not know them. She does not want to associate with her surroundings because
she feels like her new experiences are tainting her and distracting her from
her identity.
In
Chapter 4 Esther tells the reader that her mother was the one who taught her
shorthand and typing. Even though Esther loves to write, she does not associate
this passion with her mother. Instead, she sees her mother’s teachings as
something that was done out of necessity when her father died. Her mother
forcing her to learn shorthand in order to support the family explains why
Esther questions her career path and passions later on in life. She began
writing purely out of necessity, so now in this stage of her life, when Jay Cee
questions what Esther wants to do, Esther is unsure of whether or not she
actually wants to go into writing. In addition to explaining Esther’s confusing
about writing, Esther’s relationship with her mother may also explain why
Esther seems to have an unstable mental state. Her family background is
obviously one of hardship and little support, which explains why Esther
experiences a lot of self-doubt.
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